[Scattered boos from the studio audience].Dr. Haywood: Exactly. Of course she realized that would be a hard sell. That's where she put her talents to work again. She created a drug that combined the vaccines for all the sexually transmitted diseases, as well as certain positive sexual enhancements that men -- and women -- would like. But this drug, unfortunately, also had an unavoidable side effect: it lowered the male libido.Oprah: Histromycin.[More boos].Dr. Haywood: Histromycin had a significant lowering of the male sex drive as its primary side effect. But the important thing to remember is, it did not make men impotent.Oprah: Some men who took it thought they were at first.Dr. Haywood: Yes, the male response to non-tactile stimuli was drastically decreased.Oprah: Can you translate that for us non-scientists?Dr. Haywood: Men, and women on Hertizone, did not need much to become sexually aroused. A picture, or a glimpse of thigh, was often enough. A smell. A thought. A kiss. But men. It was perfect. I was going to be my sister's date and if I played my cards right I would fuck her without her knowing. Before I even had time to really think through the semantics of the plan or decide whether this was a good or bad idea, Wendy walked out in only a towel, not feeling remotely strange to be almost naked in front of her brother, and snapped, "Why the fuck do you have my phone?" I said, annoyed as usual by her bitchy attitude, "Your boyfriend called and I figured you would want me to answer it." "He should be here by now," she said clearly annoyed. "That was what the call was about," I said. "Don't you dare tell me he isn't coming," she said, her tone threatening me as if the news would be my fault. "He is coming, but he is going to be late," I lied. "Why?" She asked already pissed off and grabbing her phone. "He has a late meeting with the coaches. He said he wouldn't be able to answer his phone either because his battery was dying," I continued to pile on the lies.
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